Surfing: The Waiting Game

Now I realize surfing is all about waiting. Since the first time I gave it a try I have been waiting...waiting to get stronger, waiting to perfect my balance, to be strong enough to paddle out, waiting for waves...waiting to catch my own waves and ride smoothly. AND: waiting for our boards to be finished.

I have checked online on how long to finish the job and the most would be 10 weeks. We got our boards made last December, and were still waiting. Not that I'm complaining (well, maybe a little, sorry for the excitement), I have already gotten stronger and I can mostly catch my own waves...still I remain without a board. It's okay, though we are finding it expensive to rent every time. But there is nothing else to do but wait.

So for now I will quench my excitement with images from Pinterest:

Aren't they pretty? If you haven't tried to surf, I suggest you give it a shot. I used to hate it a lot and find my husband so unreasonable whenever he surfs. Now I always bug him about it. I can't even begin to describe how much it changed my life. Some changes that I can point out are:

1. I now know how to work hard for my goals: At first, of course, I sucked. I was awkward, and popping up on the board required effort. Most times I tell Adam I want to quit, but my desire to become better weighed more. So whenever we are in the city I workout regularly. I do practice popping up in our bedroom floor. During surf trips I try to get out in the water as much as I can. This doesn't only apply to surfing; it also is applicable in other aspects of my life.

2. I am less judgmental: I admit, I used to be the one laughing at beginners when I wasn't surfing. I'd tell my husband how funny people looked wiping out. Until I was the one in their position. I learned to appreciate the effort they give just to be able to get up on their boards. Also, I admit to making fun of other people sometimes. Now I do this less because I have come to accept that all people are made different, and everyone is beautiful in each and every way. F*ck the supposed "ideal beauty."

3. Whenever I miss a wave or wipe out...I realize that it's okay...there will always be a next time: Like in life, when we fail...we try again. When we're down there is no other place to go but up.

4. I do not let my insecurities get in the way of how surfing makes me feel: I have written time and again about this. To make this section short, I will just tell you to go chase your dreams before it's too late. So what if those abs just won't show? So what if you have no thigh gap? These things shouldn't stop you. I have this 7" vertical C-section keloid scar on my tummy; I also have big thighs...but I have felt so free because of surfing that I do not care what people think anymore. All I care about is how happy I feel.

5. I have a better relationship with my husband: We found something we are both passionate about, something we can do together and talk about. This is good...because instead of thinking of  the troubles in life...we have surfing to look forward to instead.

6. Surfing has become a form of relaxation from being a full-time mother: Yes. This is how I want to spend my alone time. Maybe even forever. It's just me and the sea...nothing else matters.

So what are you waiting for? Go and surf!

All images are from Pinterest.

Singapore Day 3: Botanic Gardens

So to continue with our trip, I am sharing photos from our visit to the Singapore Botanic Gardens. This is one of my favorite parts in this vacation, not only because I love nature, but also because there is a children's garden where Bean can play. Good thing I dressed lightly as the heat was almost making me give up on dear life! The gardens were so well-groomed and pretty. I loved the different shades of greens and the variations in the texture of wood. I like how the leaves provided enough shade to take pictures at noon.

I actually wanted to take a break with my yoga practice for a week but I just couldn't resist an inversion here in the midst of beautiful trees.

 

And this little adventurer found something to occupy her time as we searched for the children's garden.

Mamita and Bean.

This trip falls on her birthday and we hope she enjoyed it.

As I grow older, everyday I am more in touch with myself and in tune with nature.

Now I love being outdoors.

These two make the simplest things so special.

 

Tired people.

 

I finally get what Adam told me when we were still dating. That it is always better to collect memories from travelling and experiences with people than buying unnecessary things that only gives us temporary satisfaction. This is one thing that I love about my husband--his optimism and love for life,



Motherhood and 19/52

This is supposed to be a post only about my 19/52 entry for my 52 project, but since it's Mother's Day I'll write something about motherhood, too.

19/52

"A portrait of my daughter, once a week, every week, in 2014." 

Oh, Bean! What can I say? You sure are growing up a little too fast. What really astounds me is how well you can talk, and where you got your British accent. Most days are full of questions from you. "Mommy, why are you not growing like me?" "Mommy are you a piggy?" "Mommy, are you finished with your work?" "Are you finished eating?" "Mommy, can you please play with me? Pretty please?" "Can I choose my shoes?" "Where's daddy and what is he doing?" "Do you love me? Are you sure? Do you love me forever?" And you aren't even three years old! I swear, you skipped the baby talk and communicated so well.


Honestly, since she went to her cousin Jammie's school...she has always asked when she will go to school. I take this as an opportunity to have a break away from motherhood and focus on myself even for just a few hours in a day; but deep inside...I am not ready. And when that day comes I know I will probably cry. You see, motherhood was so unexpected for me.


Back in college I always told myself it will always be a career-driven life for me. I didn't want to get married nor have kids because I am too selfish for that. I wanted success and control over everything in my life. I didn't want to be responsible for anyone else because being responsible for myself was already so exhausting. But as I grew older each year things started to get boring. It wasn't about the job I had, nor the friends... I just felt so empty being by myself. Yes, I had money...and I can buy the things I wanted...but I think my life was looking for something more meaningful than that.


When I was younger I laughed whenever I read in magazines how mothers would always say that "you are never a woman until you become a mother" or "you will never feel fulfilled until you become a mother." I thought that was just a consolation for bored mothers at home. I was so wrong.


There  is a different kind of fulfillment in being a mother. There is a different kind of pride and confidence. Now I understand what unconditional love is, and now I know the meaning of sacrifice. Being a mommy brought new meaning into my life, and a deeper connection to the relationships that I have.

I think that motherhood is indeed my calling. It doesn't matter how much my back hurts from carrying my daughter since day one. It doesn't matter if I am left with a hoarse voice from singing and telling stories all day. I don't mind doing all the things I want like reading, watching movies, writing, working, etc. in the wee hours of the night. And we don't mind that dates are less and lugging around a toddler on surf trips....because no matter how tired I get, there is no other reward than seeing my daughter well taken care of, healthy and happy.

“Sometimes when you pick up your child

you can feel the map of your own bones beneath your hands,

or smell the scent of your skin in the nape of his neck.

This is the most extraordinary thing about motherhood -

finding a piece of yourself separate and apart

 that all the same you could not live without.”  

 

-Jodi Picoult, Perfect Match

I asked Adam to take my picture this afternoon because nothing has made me felt whole and more beautiful than being a mother. I hope all mothers and mothers-to-be had a special day today.

Singapore Day Two: Orchard Road and Marina Bay Sands

Well, this was officially considered a shopping day...if you got cash to burn. Well, ours was limited because we splurged just last month on beach gear when we went to Bali. There are so many malls to choose from! Actually, we only passed through most of them and took pictures; it was only mom who bought a few items for herself.

Little girl is always amazed.

It's still early and I am looking haggard. Umm. I don't know

what's up with my outfit.

Cute LINE characters on display.

Aset, Jong, Winter.

Thank you, Lora for the $9 ice cream. Hopefully, we see each other more often! I want Bean to

get to know you and for you to be part of her life.

Just like college...plus one!



Well we are all looking pretty tired in the photos, right? Walking all day with a toddler sure changes things...add the hot, hot weather! I did enjoy this day though because I got to see my one remaining friend! Keeping up friendship is hard, so just like marriage you need to work on it. And if you find that one true friend...be sure to keep it and never let go. Distance will sure test you.