What Melts my Heart

This afternoon, I took time washing my daughter's cups, bowls, plates, and spoon. I took time to check in on my work, brush my teeth--I did all these things slowly. I wonder why I always feel like I am losing time; and when I don't...I feel a bit insane. It's like worrying has always been a part of me.

A year ago, while washing my baby's bottles, I thought to myself: Is this going to be my life? Looking after my daughter daily, making sure everything and anything she needs would be met? The answer is always YES. And last year I was so scared that I would reach a breaking point, that somehow I'd burn out.

But just this afternoon, it hit me. I am never ever going to be too tired to be a mother, nor will I ever burn out. Because as I was washing those cups and bowls I made a mental list of the things Bean does that melt my heart.

1. When I am busy doing anything that does not concern her, she approaches me and with the softest voice she calls out, "Mama," and I turn to look at her to ask what she wants. She just puts her arms around me, kisses me and says, "I love you."
2. When things get too stressful at work, or when I get sad...she takes my hand and says, "it kay," which means: "it's okay."
3. Every time I fix myself up in front of the mirror, she does the same beside me. She asks me to look at her, and tells me, "Mama is pretty."
4. During the times I sweep the house, she takes a broom of her own and "cleans," saying: "help mama clean." (and she hums little melodies that make me smile)
5. When she bumps into me, or makes a mess of something I am doing, she tells me she's "soyee." (for 'sorry'
6. At night, just before she falls asleep, she holds my my hand and softly says, "sleep mama."

I may have missed a lot more, but these six things....now who'd get burned out with that? :)