"Eat like you love yourself.
Move like you love yourself.
Speak like you love yourself.
Act like you love yourself."
-Tara Stiles
I had a great surf session almost three weeks ago. We had a great surf session almost three weeks ago. And then I went home with an injured hand and wrist. I cannot lift anything; I can barely move my fingers and my entire hand. I cannot do yoga...and I absolutely cannot surf.
If you knew me...you'd probably think I am hard headed and will not stop. I did not. Knowing there was something wrong with me I still did my full Ashtanga practice two consecutive days after we surfed. It made my condition worse. Really worse.
So I had to stop doing both things. I had to heal and it will take time. Honestly, I was bummed and almost couldn't see the brighter side of the situation. You see I am one who over thinks until there's no tomorrow. A few things that went through my head were:
1. What if I stopped doing both things I loved....would I get back to square one?
2. Would everything I worked hard for amount to nothing because I stopped?
3. Would I lose the body I toned because of doing yoga religiously.
4.Would I get panic attacks or anxiety because I will not be doing my regular practice?
5. Would this reflect on my well-being as a mother, wife, daughter, sister or friend?
But aside from these worries my goal was to heal because if I don't then I won't be able to do yoga or surf permanently.
It was so hard for me to stop. I devoured books like crazy; over-played with my daughter, read and reread my books on yoga and surf. I replaced my yoga practice with other exercises that did not involve my left arm and hand. I waited patiently until one morning I can move my fingers. And then the next morning I can move my hand from side to side; the next day I can finally grip things; and then the next...I can already twist my hands from my wrist....
...and finally, I can put pressure on my hands again. I was so happy that I can be back at it....but with caution. I have already done yoga three times with modifications on chaturanga and any arm-balance. I refrain from doing the full wheel pose because an angled pressure to my hands and wrist still causes discomfort.
I am the type of person who wishes to be in control most of the time. Unfortunately, reality sometimes can go out of balance...and that's when we need to be pliant. And I realized that one thing yoga continuously teaches me is how to be flexible....not just in doing the asanas; but also in life.
Tomorrow we are going on a trip and I will try to surf. Though I am worried about what will or might happen Adam always tells me to take it one step at a time; breathe and just let things be. So I will. I listen to my husband regarding these things because, for the most part in my surfing life, he is the one with the wisdom to make me succeed. I have plans and I have goals....I usually take a lot of detours to reach them and often times I get lost along the way...but with Adam...I reach them way ahead of time. And I am grateful...so grateful that I have him in my life.
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