Hello, North Swell + 45&46/52

Adam and I were supposed to NOT have any surf trips soon because we have been out in the water every weekend since the start of November. But we were really tempted to go last weekend because some new friends were asking us to go. And we really wanted to. So we decided to go to Baler for three days. Because of some conflict regarding Adam's work we did not push through with the trip.

But we felt a certain itch...we wanted to go surf. I never expected myself to be so into it that sometimes it's all I want to do. And because my husband is such a good person luck was on our side. We were able to schedule a trip to Zambales.and it was near perfect! Well...at least for me. I was a little bit down about the last surf we had. I caught just one wave and it was so tricky that I bailed.

There's this quote that goes, "If you can't stop thinking about it; don't stop working for it." And that is something I apply in this surfing journey of mine. From the start I was very week at paddling so I stuck with my yoga practice and gave up dieting so that I can be well nourished and not easily fatigued. I went out to surf even during the days that the waves sucked. Adam always tells me that even if nothing nice happens...even when I fail to catch waves it will do a lot for my paddling strength. And during this trip....I believed in him. I had power to catch waves. I am so stoked that the drops didn't even matter. I would wipe out a few times with a smile on my face. I usually smile the whole time I surf...and I actually drink tons of salt water. All in all, I had a good surf session and I know my husband did too.

A few more things that made this trip so worth it are friends and new found friends. Joan followed us a day later and I am so happy to see her progression. I am also excited as her board is about to come out at the end of this week. Yahoo! Also, because we made new friends (hi friends!). A year ago, I used to fear the lineup. But...it's not so bad after all. I learned a lot just watching people surf. I also got to surf with the surf instructors as myself...not as their student...and that's new to me. I am grateful they still correct my mistakes...there is always room for improvement!

My heart is also so very grateful because our friends give us an easier time because they help with taking care of our girl. She is so full of joy every time we go to the beach. I need to end this post about our trip here because my mind is in a whirl and still day dreaming about it. :)

Again, many thanks to Crystal Beach Resort for always making us feel at home. Thank you to Mac Ramos, Carlo Maesa, Tonton and Telyn for helping me improve a lot during this trip. :)

And now moving on to my 52 Project because I haven't given up on it. Though I always want to because I end up posting late....the year is about to end and I am testing my commitment. Hehe.

45/52

"A portrait of my daughter, once a week, every week, in 2014." 

She is becoming more and more beautiful each day. She is very curious and easily remembers what you tell her. Though her energy has doubled and all her questions are making me go crazy...I love her being three years old. We can now have decent conversations with sense (so much sense to be honest). We adore her so!

46/52

"A portrait of my daughter, once a week, every week, in 2014."

Bean now has her own playlist of music in her iPad. I love that she now appreciates music with words (not just classical music). Her current favorites are Taylor Swift, Tangerine Kitties and Katy Perry. <3

So I Went a Little Crazy and Joined a Competition + 43 & 44/52

As much as I want to post here more than twice or thrice a month...I can't. Mommy break time is so deceiving you know? So when I say break time it doesn't mean chillin' or bumming around...it means it's time to do house chores and other "Bean" chores I have left on my list. The extra hour left is used to do a little bit of art, listen to music or drink my afternoon cup of coffee. Hey, I'm not complaining. Mommy break time is great; if it weren't for motherhood...I wouldn't be the person I am right now. I wouldn't have gotten to know who I am and what I want. I wouldn't have entered any contest or competition at all. So here we go.

I have been seriously surfing for almost a year; and I SERIOUSLY can't believe I am able to catch my own waves now. Everything that used to be impossible to me was made possible because of how great my husband and daughter are.

A year ago I told my husband I hated surfing because it was pointless. And then when I saw how much fun he was having I came clean and admitted to him that I did not want to try it because I was insecure, self conscious and it would look crazy because I am in my late twenties and to top it off--a mother. Adam (my husband) is really the best and most genuine person you will ever meet. He is honest, consistent, kind, patient, forgiving, understanding....well it's a long list. But the point is, he straight out told me that if I wanted to surf I had to accept that it wouldn't be easy...and that it will take time. I can't just take one or two lessons and surf like Sally Fitz or JJF. He told me I had to be consistent, persistent, driven, patient and I had to have faith. I have to believe that one day I will achieve all my goals. And I did...and still am. And I am so grateful of how much he has helped and encouraged me just to get to where I am right now.

I told him it will be near impossible for me to learn fast because I have to take care of our girl during our trips. While it is true that my learning curve would have been quick if we did not bring Bean when we surfed, it would have also paralyzed me in a way. My little girl is my source of strength. I have been battling body dysmoprhia since high school until last year. I have been through binge eating to not eating at all and developed this obsession with working out. But because my daughter was born I learned to appreciate life's beauty bit by bit. Whenever I feel worthless I always look at her and tell myself that I was the one who birthed a beautiful little soul...and that reminder keeps me positive and helps me believe that anything is possible.

So......I joined this competition.

I wasn't really interested in joining because I just want to surf. I am not setting out to enter competitions to prove anything to anyone. Surfing just makes me happy. But my friend really wanted to join so me and Adam talked about it. And we did enter just for fun. Honestly, I wasn't expecting anything at all. I am not the competitive kind of person and if I were I would have only competed with myself. So it was "expect nothing and accept everything" for me the whole time. And I would just laugh out there and ride. (If ever you see me in the lineup, don't fret, I'm not crazy....I am just the one person there smiling and laughing most of the time.) And it would surprise me every time I'd advance in the contest. I advanced up to the finals and was the 1st runner up for the Wahine Beginner's category. It was a big surprise actually because everyone was cross-stepping and whatnot!

Anyway, Adam ended up as first runner up, too. Isn't that cute? We hesitated to join...and ended up with lots of prizes. I am happy with the goodies...but I am happier meeting new people, too. I do hope these people would become close friends one day :)

Thank you to Crystal Beach Resort for being our home away from home :)

P.S.

We had a great weekend. We really did! Until this incident: I just finished surfing and switched with Adam so he can surf and I can take care of Bean. I was cuddling her as she slept when this woman asked me, "ILANG TAON NA ALAGA MO?" Ouch. Well, I know my skin is a hundred shades darker from what it really should be and that Bean is a carbon copy of her daddy...but if you want to ask, please rephrase your questions. Hahahahaha! Anyway, I am used to being asked this question. So God bless you, woman. :)

And for my 52 Project, here goes:

43/52 

"A portrait of my daughter, once a week, every week, in 2014."

Bean and her cousin Winter who she calls her "best friend." Well, I do hope they really become the best of friends because these little girls get most of my heart. They make me feel younger and loved.

44/52

 "A portrait of my daughter, once a week, every week, in 2014."

This is Bean most of the time when we have long drives to the beach. She wasn't always like this. Last year, when all the surfing just began, there were times she's throw fits in the car. She'd easily get bored and irritated. But I guess her love for the beach and travel grows more as we expose her to these things. We couldn't ask for a better travel buddy than this little one. :) She always tells us she doesn't want to leave the beach...we don't, too...but love, we gotta work so we can play. :) We love you so very much.

42/52

42/52

 "A portrait of my daughter, once a week, every week, in 2014." 

I can't believe I've come this far with this 52 Project. And I am quite scared to look back at the photos I took from early this year. Don't get me wrong; I am very happy about motherhood it's just that it seems time passes by so fast! Now I have this little girl I could converse with about anything!

Anyway, sorry for the low resolution photos I took with my phone. We just really found her cute during our car ride to the mall. Since Bean declared that she's no longer a "baby" but a "big girl" she uses the potty regularly, sleeps in her room, and rides at the back all by herself. Well, knowing the traffic these days we guess she couldn't help but drift into slumber! The photos are arranged chronologically. Adam and I found her drifting in and out of sleep...smiling and then closing her eyes, swaying left to right and then right to left. Oh how adorable!

Also, Bean always tells me she wants to grow slowly because she doesn't want me to get old. I asked her if she knows what "growing old" means...to which she replied, "Yes. It means you will have no energy and I will take care of you."

Is she really just three years old????

It's Friday tomorrow. Our weekends are still busy so I don't really know the difference...but to everybody...I hope the weekend comes sooner. Enjoy!

Surfing: All Hard Work Pays Off + 41/52 of my 52 Project

It's been exactly 11 months and 14 days since I was first pushed into a wave. Honestly, I never thought I'd be sticking with this until now. I also never thought I'd get past the stage of being pushed by an instructor. It hasn't even been a year yet...but I feel as if I've been doing this for a long time.  Last Sunday was the first time I surfed. And by "surfed" I mean that I was there alone doing my own thing. Aside from the tips and reminders Adam gave me before paddling out...it was just me, the unfamiliar sea, and a lineup of strangers except for Adam and Joan.

As I positioned myself in the lineup, I decided to just sit and watch. I have this bad habit of belittling myself when it comes to these things. I just studied the waves and the hierarchy out there. And then it nagged on my mind, "What's all those months being pushed wave after wave perfecting your balance? What about the times you paddled like crazy just to get out there? What about all the people who who encouraged you and worked so hard just to help you get stronger, braver and smarter in the water? What was it all for if you're just going to sit and watch?" So, I decided to catch a wave. I missed a few times...and then I tried to recall all those months of trial and error and tips from my mentors (and husband)...and I paddled so hard....finally, I caught a wave. An overhead wave at that! Well I was able to ride it for about what....a second or two before the speed and power of the wave left me behind. I got tumbled under but I surfaced with a smile on my face. I finally figured out how to catch darn waves! This happened a few times for the whole morning...me catching waves...but failing to keep up with it's speed. I was again thinking of all the things I was taught until everything fell into place. I was riding waves this weekend...I was picking which ones to catch by my own judgement. I was so stoked.

But among other things, there were also more lessons learned last weekend. I learned that it's not my fault that I popped up above somebody because I was in priority of that wave. Imagine my horror when somebody was suddenly under my board still paddling while I was already up and about to ride. I bailed but the board hit that person. I was also horrified when I caught a wave and then somebody suddenly paddled in front of me! Also, that moment when I was paddling out back to the lineup but failed to make it on a big set. I forgot to bail and the lip literally threw me away. I got tumbled under for a few seconds; couldn't figure out where was up and down...when I popped out of the water the board I was holding wasn't even mine. Funny...but it kind of left me a little stunned. We also got cuts and bruises on our feet because of the rocky bottom of that certain surf spot.

I know I am just starting in this journey and I have more to learn...but for now I am happy to be surfing on my own. I am also so in sync with my husband's 8'0 board that we already switched.  We had a great weekend. :)

And now for the second part of my post:

41/52

 "A portrait of my daughter, once a week, every week, in 2014." 

I missed this little nugget when we went to surf without her. But we realized that sometimes we really need time away from her. I think Bean needs it too. Because she was extra sweet and extra good when we came home. But....she was so smart to have figured out where we went. I guess it was the sunburn...or the smell of the sea...or the bag of wet clothes...

While we were eating dinner she asked her daddy: "Did you go to the beach?" We cannot lie....so Adam told her we did. To which she replied with a stern face: "But you did not bring me." So we promised to take her next time. The day after I told her we had to dress up to do the groceries and she told me she didn't want to go to the mall; she just wants to go the beach. Aaaah, we feel so lucky she's such a trooper!

So that's all for now. We're busy recovering from that epic trip.

39 & 40/52

39/52

 "A portrait of my daughter, once a week, every week, in 2014."

So I am a bit late in posting on this project...but I found the time. I have been busy learning a few things and making things for family members during my free time. Also, we were able to squeeze in two days of surfing! Phew! Finally!

And this little girl has begun to sleep in her own bed in her room for two weeks now. Same with potty training. I am so proud of the person she is becoming. Every time she sees me worried she'd ask me to be happy. When I am tired she'd tell me, "It's okay; everything will be okay, mommy. Just be happy."

She will often ask, "Do you like me?" And when I say "yes," she replies, "I like you too."

She also doesn't ask me to accompany her in school so I just sit and wait until her class is through. When Adam tells her she's our baby...she'd always correct him and say, "No, I'm a big girl." I feel as though I have been robbed three years of my life! It went by so fast!

40/52

And during our surf trip, she had a blast of course! She professes her love for the beach on a daily basis. And what I don't get is her obsession with Roxy. She gets all excited even just seeing the logo. Bean always tells us she loves to surf even if she hasn't started yet. She recently told me she wants to learn even if she's scared. That's a good start, isn't it? :)

We hope everyone has a great week ahead!