I haven't opened my blog lately and by "lately" I mean in months. It was a harsh summer. I always tell myself to write about it here in this space...but I don't think it will serve me well doing that for now. I am not ready...not yet. But I'm still here. It's true, sh*t happens and life can be cruel but I choose to still live it anyway.
These past few months I felt as if I was bound to lose many things. Aside from the surf, we lost our grandmother. I feel so beat, as if life really let me down yet again. I spent two months in a daze, telling myself it will be okay.
I lost my cousin two years ago (the same month our grandmother passed) and I started to push myself out of my comfort zone ever since. The loss of a loved one is what prompted me to come out stronger because after all, I am very weak by nature. This event in my life is the reason I started to surf.
And now, two years later, I am back at square one. Another person dear to me is gone. Again, I am left in this dire situation. Again, I feel as if I am starting a new life. And with the swell coming in, I am making it a point to come out stronger, to be better...not only with surfing...but with life.
JP
Adam
Alvin
So we packed our things for our first surf trip after two months. I am happy to be back at the place where I was first pushed into a wave. I had a lot of baggage this time around. A year ago my only worry was looking stupid in front of strangers....this time I worried about losing whatever progress I worked hard for, if there ever was any.
Well, to be honest, my endurance was cut in half. With paddle power, not much (I guess daily Yoga really does help). It was a very familiar feeling. As if I have done it only yesterday. I haven't even reached half a year in the lineup, and I have learned so many things...about people and about myself. And this is one thing I like about surfing, it will teach you a lot about life and reality.
Meryl
It was like a mini reunion with Adam, JP, Tanya, Joan and of course, Bean (plus her ninong Alvin). Time flew by so fast that I find myself right here by my desk looking at the pictures gathered from the weekend. It was a fun, familiar feeling. And I love it, have loved it, and will definitely continue to love it.
This trip was also for my dearest husband because it was his birthday. I planned a week ahead with Joan on how to make a simple surprise for him. So we bought a few pieces of fudge bars and put "HAPPY BIRTHDAY" candles on it which we put on the bed; so when Adam opened the door, we sang him the birthday song. I hope he liked it. I really hope he did; because I had nothing special to give him, just a little painting with a message.
I wanted him to feel very special because he is the one who started it all. This constant craving for surf. He would always make sure we have a place to stay in; he would prepare the boards and all the stuff with it, he is the one who drives the car, and he always gives me an extra hand with our little girl.
We spent three days surfing in the morning, and sometimes in the afternoon, too. I have nothing else to say....just that it is indeed one of the best feelings in the world---catching a wave and being able to ride it. I feel so free.
I am so lucky to have you, dearest husband.
Even if it was your birthday you let me surf first.
When I felt so dehydrated in the lineup and couldn't see well,
you immediately stopped catching waves and helped me get to shore.
You continue to inspire me to become a better person,
a stronger woman in and out of the surf.
Imagine 1.5 years ago I was crying,
because I felt so pressured by you to take that first surf lesson,
After almost fighting
I couldn't believe that I am already surfing with you.
In the line up,
catching waves all on my own.
I feel very grateful to you
for believing in me
when no one else does
when I am on the verge of giving up,
you always tell me that in time
I will get to where I am supposed to be.
And here I am,
all because you exist.
