31 (Late Post)

Thirty one. I am thirty one! And, yup I feel it, too, deep to the bones (literally.) I have been avoiding this space since getting myself injured (still probably from yoga and surfing...who knows.) It's just hard to put into words how I feel about not getting to do the things I love. But here I am trying to be a big girl and moving on. Before writing something brief about my birthday last December 18 I would just like to put into record that I am already seeing a Physical Therapist for my aches. And she said that the most I can do for now are some light stretching, walking and swimming. I couldn't even lift heavy objects, jog or overuse the right side of my body.

I have to follow, even when I don't want to. I even begged if I could just get pushed into a wave, without paddling myself, but she said NO. I also asked if I can do a full sequence of yoga and avoid asanas that "I think" causes my aches and she said NO. So I have recently been into my calligraphy practice in order to fill up my time. Mind you, it's something I am coming to love already. It's just heartbreaking for me to stop riding the waves and doing my yoga practice. Adam asked me once how I felt about the situation and I told him, "It's like your first heartache, I guess. It hurts and you don't know how to deal." The drama, I know.

Moving on......

I didn't want to be such a Scrooge to not let Adam surf when I can't, also, I do love the sea so we still went to celebrate my birthday on the beach. The swell was perfect and I am happy that my husband and friends got to surf their hearts out!

As for me, I spent quality time with my daughter, and doing calligraphy drills. Which made me realize the other aspects of my life that I have set aside because of surfing. For one, I miss more playtime with my girl. Another is, having more time for my art...and photography.

It was a relaxed celebration and I'm glad that I agreed to go. It taught me that life isn't just about doing the things you love the most....it's also learning to take what you can get and appreciating the bigger picture.

It's good getting back to normal. Since June, I haven't really been really feeling like myself. When the sea and the surf is there I feel nothing. Empty. Luckily, if you have a husband like Adam, he'd be picking it up soon enough. So he planned this trip specifically for me. He told me to take my time and to stop looking at my watch. "Surf as much as you want and don't think about me. Just enjoy. Surf for fun."

As we were packing and getting ready, Adam received a message from his longtime friend, Aaron, asking to meet up. As we've already planned the trip, he tried asking his friend if he'd like to join us. And it was great that he did, for the stoke you get from surfing is multiplied when share it. I also noted to ask Krisha (JP's friend we met last year) because I have seen how much she's interested since we pushed her into her first few waves almost a year ago.

The morning we arrived, waves were around knee-high. Perfect for Aaron and Krisha. It was nice for me, too, to have a chill session and to get my confidence back in the water. I had a good two hours in there. The first wave I caught was a wipe out, but then I have gotten myself back together. Not to push myself to my limit, I let Adam surf for the rest of the day.

I was quite surprised how much Aaron and Krisha enjoyed that they signed up for more lessons! And it feels quite nice to see them stoked because two years ago, that was me. I saw myself in them. I used to be the happiest surfer in the lineup; and then I got caught up with so many things and so many negative people that I just lost it.

And I am thankful to the people who continuously help me find my way back.

The day after, the swell was a bit bigger. Also, JP left the city early to catch up with us and we're glad that he did. Everybody had fun, and I really really missed that feeling.

Now we're back in the city looking forward for the next trip, and our "surf family" that's getting bigger.