"Bye bye long hair. See you in a year, maybe.
If I don't decide to cut this a bit shorter.
I had no intention of growing my hair long but
one day I found myself (again)
being dependent on it to feel good about myself...like it's
length is a form of accomplishment.
Weird, I know; and it was kind of bringing me down.
It's weight was becoming close to unbearable.
So I let it go. And it makes me feel so light inside and out."
While I have yet to miss my long hair, I know one of these days I might think about that bun or braid...but never mind. I have come to realize that hair is just hair and it naturally grows back in most cases. I just really needed this...along with new hopes, dreams and plans.
When I was younger my dad would always tell me to think positive and reaffirm the things that I want to accomplish, have or do. He told me that one time he wanted to be able to buy this particular car so he put a picture of it on his desk. And everyday he would look at it and tell himself something like, "One day I will buy you. One day I will have you." So this inspired me to make a list of things I wish to do or dream to come true.
Bean's attending playschool sparked this. It came across my mind that by the time she goes to regular school I will have majority of nothing to do. I am a full time mom...when she's at school there will only be housework to do. I think I will have a hard time looking for a job that would give me freedom to go home early to take care of my daughter daily. Motherhood has hit me hard; I never knew this was who I was meant to be. Because of these thoughts I have new dreams and plans of doing something to earn extra to help my husband and keep me busy:
1. It has got to have something to do with art; I am an arts graduate anyway.
2. It should be very flexible that it can accommodate raising a kid (or kids in the future) because taking care of Bean is my priority.
3. I will start small and need to find the time to do it starting....now.
The details are very vague in my mind at present...but I have signed up for a few workshops that will help me make this a reality. I am excited and apprehensive at the same time. Good luck to me!
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