28/52: let the sea set you free: of surfing and happiness

28/52

"A portrait of my daughter, once a week, every week, in 2014." 

Bean finally got her wish! Last month she was hospitalized with a case of amoebiasis and everyday since then she'd tell us she wants to go to the beach. We wanted to grant this wish so badly; but we were finding the perfect time budget-wise which would have the right conditions to include surf, and until this little girl is fully well. We thought she was...until last week when she had the same case of bacteria in her system. Even when she's sick she'd still wish for the same thing. As soon as my mom sent me an SMS saying they were going to our beach house, I was ecstatic. I immediately checked the forecast and called Adam to ask if we could go. Of course he said yes! This was a total package: Bean would get her wish, we get to surf, and we get to spend time with family.

Oh the look on Bean's face when we got there. Pure joy! I thought children these days are materialistic...but I guess she's an exception. We frequently take her to the toy store; but she rarely asks to buy something. She'd just tire herself looking through rows and rows of toys. 

She did not waste time gathering her toys and digging through the sand. We made sandcastles, mostly "sand-forms" as they did not nearly resemble castles. She was so happy I wanted to cry. The things we love are becoming the ones she loves too.

On to other things....

For sure Adam and I did surf. He was asking me to go out in the water first; but again you know me...fear gets the best of me most times...so I told him he could go test out the waters first to give me time to calm myself. The waves were bigger and consistent...I never though I could go out there. But because of his and Ton's prodding (Ton is the one who continues to help me get better when I surf there) I went for it. And the first ride I got was the best I had that day. It was my first left ever!!!! For more than a year I am the goofy foot who couldn't ride front-side. To top it off...that was the longest ride of my surfing life. What was on my mind at that moment: I remember Ton shouting to me that the wave was a left. I put weight on my back foot, compressed my knees, twisted my body a bit to the left... "I went left! It worked! So this is what the wall of a wave looks like. Should I touch it? Nah...just look...you might just spoil the ride." I was stoked! And Adam got to take pictures of it!

After that I had a hard time going back to the line up....I think it took around 20 minutes, 7 Eskimo rolls and a lot of sea water to drink. And then the waves were gone. It took a while for some sets to arrive...and as soon as they did this happened:

OUCH: late takeoff; early nosedive.

I literally "scorpion-ed" off my the board. Well, I guess sometimes this happens? It's just that it happens most times to me. Haha. Well. I got a long way to go...and my back still hurts up to now. In one hour I managed to get 2 rides, and one nasty nosedive. This was the last ride that morning:

Adam told me to write down my surf progress and I sure am going to be writing about it this week. Dearest husband also had the best ride of his life that morning. I love watching him surf. For one, this is his happiness...and then...I have seen how much he worked (and still works) hard for it. His love, commitment and dedication to surfing reflects how he is towards me and Bean. And I love him more and more each day.

We only surfed half of that day. We wished Joan, John Paul and Kirsten came! We proceeded to meet my parents at our beach house. We had a relaxing afternoon walking along the shore. bean had a blast collecting seashells and chasing little crabs. I had a great time talking with my husband and my parents.

A lot has changed through the years regarding our beach house and our beach trips. Before, family was always there...excited and ready to go anytime... now most of them are busy with their own things...whether it's work, personal stuff, lack of interest....I don't know if life is supposed to be that way. I don't get how other people take family time for granted. I am not afraid to state this because it is true. Adam and I value family...so I guess this is why I felt bad about this. But hey...who am I to insist for people to come when they refuse to go? To each his own. Right? Also, surfing gave me a new sense of happiness...and no matter how many bad wipe-outs I get...I keep on paddling back out for more.

This weekend was fun. I loved how happy our little girl was. I loved the surf. I love my family. These things are what makes up my heart. As I get older I find value in making memories than purchasing the next big thing. My husband taught me that during the early parts of our relationship and it has made me the happiest girl in the world.

Yoga by the beach. I do this to prevent stiffness of the body after surf..anda

also to develop core strength.

We are always looking forward to the next trip.

We hope to make more friends along the way.

27/52

27/52

"A portrait of my daughter, once a week, every week, in 2014." 

I took these photos last Thursday. We left her over the weekend with Adam's mom and aunt so we could get a little alone time and surf. Most people tell me not to spoil my kid; well I do most times; but discipline is important in our home. The week before we left we gave her more of everything: more playtime, more cuddles, more kisses. She definitely is our weakness.

Everyday she tells me "it's the best day ever!" And I am thankful for that. I am thankful because for her what we have is enough; for her our love is her world.

She has another case of bacteria; almost the same as the last time she was hospitalized. I wonder if it's the supplier of the water we drink...because we are very cautious and sensitive to everything involving Bean. We sanitize everything; even ourselves. I hope and pray you'd be completely okay my little love. Soon we'll go to the beach like you wish for daily. I love you everyday. I love you forever. I love you always.

Paddle, Paddle Harder, Paddle Hardest

For a week we have been debating to go or not to go to Zambales for surf last weekend because of information that it would be flat. We thought of heading for Baler or Real...but honestly, Adam and I felt that no matter what we wanted to push through with the trip. We informed our friends, Joan and JP that it was a go. I was both excited and anxious because of two things: I get to surf with Adam; and Bean was not coming with us. As everyone knows, I find it hard to part with Bean even for a day. I don't know...maybe it's because we've been together since day one.

Anyway, during our drive on the highway double rainbows were our view. I didn't think any of it; until our trip ended...but I now conclude that it indeed gave us luck! When we arrived, the waves were clean! It was perfect for me (or for my level I think). All of us immediately went out in the water. After a while on the inside; we saw that there were big waves farther out. Adam asked me if I wanted to go there. I said yes. I don't know why...but I did. Paddling out there took away all my energy. I almost gave up and asked Adam if I could just hold on to his foot or leg rope so he can pull me! But in my heart I wanted to make it. And I did. I had no plans on catching a wave out there; the goal was to familiarize myself in the lineup. Until the locals and Adam told me to just give it a try. It's still hit or miss (mostly, miss hehe) but the rides were smooth and long...paddling out was worth it. I still have a hard time with my board, sometimes I feel like when I paddle it doesn't move at all! But with determination I was able to reach the lineup multiple times. Even JP and Joan got rides! It was an epic morning that first day!

I am so proud of you for achieving your goals, Adam.

I'm your number one fan.

I know it might look rough;

but this was one of the longest rides I got.

Joan, day one.

We went for another session that afternoon. I thought eating a lot and drinking a bottle of beer would restore my energy. I felt fine that afternoon; not until we paddled back outside...my arms felt like noodles; but I was so hooked I didn't care. Surfing has pushed me out of my comfort zone. It taught me to work harder for the things I really want. It continuously teaches me that good things can never be rushed, to never give up...and above all...to just enjoy.

I am still the goofy foot who can't go left.

One day soon.

Joan caught a good ride that wasn't captured on camera.

But she was in awe of the wall she forgot to touch it!

She says this was most memorable for her.

Hello, Mango!

Now he goes left.

That night we drank beer; maybe to celebrate or relax. It was a good thing we pushed through with the trip. My body hurt all over; and I was sure I was nowhere near surfing the next morning.

But I did. We all did.

The waves were thicker, messier, and bigger. You know that feeling when you want something so bad, you just go ahead and do it no matter what? Guess that's how we all felt. Everyone went out. The most memorable part of this trip for me was not really the long rides...

There was a point that morning that I wanted to make it to the lineup just for another sweet ride...but we all have our limits...no matter how much I told my brain to paddle hard...my arms just wouldn't. They just gave up. Suddenly, a big set came in. And I managed to Eskimo/turtle roll about three waves. It took me a little bit back nearer the shore...so I paddled, paddled, paddled. Then another big set was approaching....a girl was also on her way to the lineup and she said (to no one in particular), "No! Don't let this break on me!" It looked like the peak was exactly going to break on us...so I responded, "Not on me either!" I am pretty sure it was pure adrenaline that I out-paddled her and made it past the breaking wave. After that, I was feeling so drained. My heart was about to explode in my chest. But all I could think about was "I made it!" And it wasn't so bad at all. 

Adam was right all along. That's how surfing will make you feel. You keep on wanting it no matter what!

You can do it, JP!

Looking forward to our next trip! Stay stoked!

Parenting Lesson

Throwback: Madeleine Bean S. McGee

I recently came across an article on the internet about how a mother can become a "yeller" due to distractions like Facebook, Instagram, to-do-lists and the like. I spent a whole afternoon pondering on this because recently me and Bean spend quite a lot of time hating each other. Oh, you know...just the occasional irrational breakdowns. Normal. But how I dealt with them changed. I am just being honest. 

Contrary to the happy and loving pictures I share on Instagram, yes, we have a lot of "terrible twos" situations in real life. And the article is so spot on! I figured that because I am craving for some "me time" to check on my Facebook or Instagram, to read a few chapters of a book, to get the household chores done, to cook, to organize Bean's toys and our clothes, to clean, etc...I easily lose my patience towards my daughter. 

Wherein when I was less involved in these things; I used to deal with these situations better. My being a "yeller" has only been for about two weeks and I want to stop before this affects the relationship I have with my child. I do not want to be the mother she fears. I want to be the one she goes to when she needs someone. 

Slowly, I am letting go  and letting lose of my "to-do-lists" and distractions. It doesn't matter if the house is unorganized for a while. I signed up for parenthood, not anything else. I loved that article; I came across it just at the right time.

A toddler is so hard to deal with, sometimes they can be smarter than you. True. 

26/52

26/52

"A portrait of my daughter, once a week, every week, in 2014." 

Today, Bean decided to skip her nap. Imagine how that went for me. I don't deny being exhausted midday; but, it is really my priority to take care of my little love. After Adam went off to work, we played tea time with her two new "dollies", Peppa and George. It was sweet until I asked her if she wanted to nap...she threw a fit, wildly kicking her legs in the air. So I let her handle it herself. I just sat there and let her be.

"Mommy! Mommy! I'm sad so I want to cry."

"Then cry."

"No, I don't want that."

"Okay, then don't cry."

"No, mommy! Don't say that because I love you."

That last line...she always uses that on me and her daddy. It gets us every time. So after about twenty minutes of hating each other we called it quits. I had my afternoon coffee; she had a sandwich. We sat beside each other; her talking about "things she loves" and "things she doesn't like" like wasps. Occasionally, she'd hint at wanting to go to the beach; I explain to her that she has to get healthier and stronger first.

Then she asked if she could borrow my "white camera" (Instax) to take some pictures.

I took her pictures; but the picture of the plant in the middle was by her.

Have I mentioned that I let Adam go out of town with friends last Friday? Well, I was dead tired by Saturday night...and I am glad he let me had "me" time this morning. I really am glad I married my best friend who is into this parenting thing with me for better or for worse.

Have a great week ahead!