We are so ready to meet our baby girl no. 2! It seems like only yesterday that I took a test, confident that it wasn't just "the month" yet and that I would be having my period the same day or the next. And while packing my daughter's lunch box, a quick glance at the test shocked me (in a good way), two lines! So I quickly made a note to surprise Adam, who had to read it a couple of times to understand the message. LOL.
Though we have been looking forward to this for a time now, I was hesitant because I was traumatized with my first birth experience! But thanks to the support of my husband and daughter...we're already here ready to say hello to this little one.
But this post isn't only about that, but my current worries and how Bean has been coping with the situation. Being an over thinker and a paranoid person my mind is constantly plagued with weird and crazy things which are ever so random that's why I busy myself with house chores, art, organization, etc. These days I think about the adjustment our little family will have, especially Bean.
She has stepped up quite a lot ever since I got pregnant. She's the one who holds my hand and pats my back when my face is stuffed in the toilet vomiting the whole day. She let's me nap during the afternoon while she quietly plays or draws beside me. She also always asks me how I am, if I have a headache, if I need a hug. Small things that make my heart swell with joy...and feel that the whole day vomiting and nausea isn't so bad.
During this last trimester, my movement and activities have been limited. I asked our OB if I can still drive, and at the start of the month she said "NO," but I told her I don't have a choice because nobody will bring our daughter to school until October. I explained that the school is a 5 minute drive away, to which she said "okay" as long as there is still space between the steering wheel and my bump. The thing is, it takes great effort to walk from the parking to the gate and back (it actually takes effort to walk at all because baby no. 2 sat on a nerve somewhere.)
Accompanying Bean to school has become my security blanket--like it's the last connection I have to her being my baby! But I had to give that up, too. I talked to her about being dropped off the gate, and at first she cried. But I explained to her that I couldn't walk and that it pains me a lot to do so. I told her I didn't want this to happen but we have to adjust because in the coming days things are going to change and that she's going to be a big sister already. I am glad she finally gave in. And so we started our new routine, not just with things involving school but also here at home.
It's so surprising that somebody 26 years younger than me has taught me so much more than my experiences to this day. I am so happy to find a best friend in my own daughter. I know my heart has to grow to accommodate two littles, but my little miss Bean will always be special.
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