First Trip of the Year

Last weekend was the first surf trip we took for this year. Yes, I'm still calling it a "SURF" trip even though the doctor said I still couldn't surf. I am calling it that because everyone was out in the water, anyway. I don't deny the bitterness in my statement because I have been a "Scrooge" since December. Oh well. Oh my.

Anyway, there is nothing else to do but wait, right? To continue, we left the city at noon last Saturday and arrived near evening. Our board finally got repaired and this though occurred to me: "The board easily got fixed but why not me?" Thus started the negativity.

But I'm not such a bad person to let it affect others. I went about doing calligraphy by the sea, playing with my daughter and taking pictures of Adam and our friends out in the water.

I have been looking at the bad things for too long that I failed to see the bigger picture. Here are some of the things that I realized:

1. There are things I cannot control. Things happen, bad things happen, and worse things than the bad happen. I am thankful that it is just this injury that I am dealing with.

2. Not being able to surf is nothing big. Yes, I am such a sourpuss but it will come. The day will come that I can be back out there but it is better to go back strong than damaged.

3. I have a wonderful daughter and husband who are helping me get through this. A husband who works all day and still volunteers to do most of the chores at home to help me rest. A daughter who continuously reminds me that I can be great in many things other than surfing. I have a family that supports me even when I'm on rock bottom.

4. No water time means I can have more time for taking pictures.

5. No water time made me progress faster in calligraphy.

6. Being very negative lately made me realize which people stayed. It made me weed out the friends who are worth keeping and those that can be disposed of.

Well, there are other things that were made clearer to me with this situation but those I have written are the ones that stood out.

The waves were clean and I had fun watching everyone surf. Seeing their stoked faces was priceless. Honestly, one of my major worries about not being able to be in the water is being disappointed in myself once I am allowed to surf again. I am terrified of finding out that I forgot all about it and having to start all over again. But when I see my friends paddle for a wave I can still feel it. I feel how the water touches me, how my arms dig in when I paddle, how the board glides with the wave, the feeling of popping up and riding that wave. Somewhere in me I believe I haven't forgotten and I hope so bad that I haven't. In any case, this situation is already here and I can't do anything about it. I feel mostly okay now, I haven't felt any major pain for close to three weeks and I can feel that I will be back in the water soon enough.

Crossing my fingers!

I hope everyone had a great weekend. I'm almost fixed. I can feel it.

It's good getting back to normal. Since June, I haven't really been really feeling like myself. When the sea and the surf is there I feel nothing. Empty. Luckily, if you have a husband like Adam, he'd be picking it up soon enough. So he planned this trip specifically for me. He told me to take my time and to stop looking at my watch. "Surf as much as you want and don't think about me. Just enjoy. Surf for fun."

As we were packing and getting ready, Adam received a message from his longtime friend, Aaron, asking to meet up. As we've already planned the trip, he tried asking his friend if he'd like to join us. And it was great that he did, for the stoke you get from surfing is multiplied when share it. I also noted to ask Krisha (JP's friend we met last year) because I have seen how much she's interested since we pushed her into her first few waves almost a year ago.

The morning we arrived, waves were around knee-high. Perfect for Aaron and Krisha. It was nice for me, too, to have a chill session and to get my confidence back in the water. I had a good two hours in there. The first wave I caught was a wipe out, but then I have gotten myself back together. Not to push myself to my limit, I let Adam surf for the rest of the day.

I was quite surprised how much Aaron and Krisha enjoyed that they signed up for more lessons! And it feels quite nice to see them stoked because two years ago, that was me. I saw myself in them. I used to be the happiest surfer in the lineup; and then I got caught up with so many things and so many negative people that I just lost it.

And I am thankful to the people who continuously help me find my way back.

The day after, the swell was a bit bigger. Also, JP left the city early to catch up with us and we're glad that he did. Everybody had fun, and I really really missed that feeling.

Now we're back in the city looking forward for the next trip, and our "surf family" that's getting bigger.