Quarantine

My gosh. How long has it been? I haven't opened up this space for a long time. You see, life's been busy and my laptop is too slow too process everything. We need an upgrade but we're still saving up for that. The coming months are when we pay fees for school--priorities of course.

It has been 2.5 months of staying at home. I feel bad that our government doesn't really care or prioritize the people. It's like "survival of the fittest" here in our country. When our children ask us how long until we can go out we sugar coat the things we say: "a little more time" "when there are no more sick people" "we're sorry but it looks like it will take a little longer."

Ellie was quite heartbroken because school will be online. You see, it will be her first year going and she was so excited so breaking the news to her was painful for me, too. Bean misses her classmates and still doesn't know how she feels about the situation.

I'm the kind of mother who would build a fairy tale world for my kids but we also give them a dose of reality. Things are dire right now and there's nothing we can do about it. So we live daily doing what we can with the time we have. Mostly our day will be filled with preparing meals, cleaning up, art, Netflix, games and some school activities to prepare Eleanor. She can now write her name.

Bean at 8 years old is more into gaming and reading. She can build fantastic worlds in Minecraft; cute farms in Stardew Valley, and breed different creatures in Pokemon. She loves to read still--now adventure books and short novels.

Ellie is so into painting lately that I hoarded paper online. She paints the rainbow and characters from My Little Pony. She loves it when her work is filled with color. One thing I find different about her is that we have to force her to use an ipad when w have to do something. She'd rather be bored and sing songs than force herself to use it--so we don't have much trouble with her screen time.

Adam spent this whole quarantine working, playing the guitar and games on the Play Station. He is also the one running errands to minimize people who go out of the house. And I am so grateful.

As for me, I've been playing the ukele, trying to translate the songs I know to the guitar. I am also painting again and still doing digital art. I've had two ulcer attacks this quarantine which prompted me to change the way I eat. I have also been doing HIIT workouts which made me stronger.

I know this time in our life isn't the greatest. Adam and I usually talk about our worries and decided to live each day to the fullest and do the things we can at the moment. Hopefully this pandemic ends soon (though I really doubt it because of how the government and many citizens are handling it.) We want to travel, or just get out of the house. 

I really don't want a NEW NORMAL....I just want the old normal back.

Imperfect ; I'm + Perfect

My Yoga journey started half a year before I decided to learn how to surf. I was in love with Yoga first. In fact, I made it a point to do it daily ever since I stepped into a studio and had my first class. The reason I took it up was because I lost a special person in my life, my cousin. I felt so broken and whatever I do I couldn't seem to pick myself up to do anything about it. I'd spend afternoons crying while Bean takes her nap. I cry in the bathroom; I cry when Adam is at work...and I did not want to be like that forever. Yes, I know I would permanently miss my cousin and I might be permanently hurt because of her passing...but I did not want to be too weak to handle myself. And so I went to the nearest studio and the rest is history.

But then, surfing really got to me....all of me...and I took my Yoga practice for granted. I kept on doing it day after day for the wrong reasons. I wanted to become stronger to catch those waves and so...most times I'd pay no mind to my breathing or alignment...as if I wanted to go through the asanas just to get it over with. I even failed to listen to my body which led to my first major injury.

Good thing I got injured! 2015 was supposed to be the year I would focus on my arm balances...but maybe my body is trying to tell me that I need to take a step back and remember the true essence of practicing Yoga. Realizing this...that I need to be grounded before I take flight...will keep me from causing more injuries to myself. That is why I am not sad about getting my hand and wrist all haywire.

Adam also stopped his practice because he is very busy at work. It was just either yoga or surf...and there is no question as to what he would choose. But I remain in good spirits because even though Yoga isn't on the top of his priorities he would still find some time to practice with me.

A daily practice is hard to maintain, mostly when your three-year old would be running around in circles making a mess...climbing on top of you while you do an upward dog....or crawling under you on your downward facing dog. But I laugh it off when I see her attempting to do a cat/cow pose and then pretends that she can do a headstand when she actually can't.

Today is the actually another first...it's my first time doing my full practice after three weeks of healing. My hand/wrist hasn't fully recovered yet...but for now it is enough. Adam had the idea to photograph some of the asanas I can do. I may not have the best posture; my alignment might still be off; I do not have the perfect "Yoga body" but the one I have keeps me breathing and living. I am not perfect for everyone; but I am just perfect for me.