25/52 and a trip without her

25/52

"A portrait of my daughter, once a week, every week, in 2014." 

This is the only picture I snapped with my phone this week. I don't know; I'm in a rut. Terrible Two came in late, I guess. It's been a week of instilling discipline with this little nugget. She's been bugging us to let her go to the beach, if not there, Bali--which she insists is her home.

Bean: Mommy, do we have money?

Me: Why? Do you want to buy something?

Bean: Yes, pink tickets to Bali. 

Me: Okay, when we have money we can go there.

Bean: You promise?

See, she's in love with the place, too. Hopefully, we can save up and make this an annual thing. This 52 Project post will only be short this time. Well, unless you want to read about the tantrums Bean has lately.


Anyway, 

we took a day trip to Z-land without Bean last Saturday. We went with Joan and John Paul. The waves were big and messy...waves which people will not surf, not really. But I really want to learn...so I went out. We all did. I did not really understand what happened that day, but I finally did turtle turns/ Eskimo rolls even if I did not want to. I got a stupid injury though while doing this...I bit my lip. Haha. Also, my fin almost hit my face while I was negotiating with this nasty shore break; good thing I have a habit of covering my head! 

I have been pressuring myself lately, and this hinders any kind of progress. I know. I've been there with yoga where instead of letting go and letting be...I was all for it to nail the hard poses (inversions and pretzel-like contortions). I went nowhere. I'd fall over and over again; until one day I read Jois' famous saying, "Practice and all is coming." And in half a year, I was able to do inversions without a wall to catch a fall. I was no longer aiming to do a headstand; I just practiced my yoga everyday for the joy of it--because it makes me feel good and happy.

This is what I am trying to do with surfing right now. So what if I look awkward or stupid paddling like a sissy? So what if I wipeout? So what? What matters is it makes me feel like I am on top of the world.